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John Dillermand Danish Kids Web Series
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John Dillermand: A Risque Kids Web Series About A Giant, Wayward D*ck

ES Staff  |  Comedy Web Series

If you ever wonder why Americans have a reputation for being uptight in other parts of the world, look no further than this risque Danish web series made for kids -- John Dillermand.

John is a good guy with a giant naughty penis that he can't control, and it's always getting him into trouble. Yes, that premise is problematic off the bat, but what makes it worse is the acrobatic and otherworldly feats that his member manages to pull off.

It can (among other things):

  • Fly kites and hoist flags
  • Tie trees together
  • Shop in stores
  • Grab children's ice cream cones
  • Perform rescue operations
  • Etch murals
  • Walk dogs

And did we mention that John is a middle-aged man who wears a 1930's style bathing suit and lives at home with his mom and cat? They spend each evening watching John's penile exploits being replayed on TV news.

Yes. There's also that.

John's last name, "Dillermand," is a play on Danish slang for penis, or "diller." So, this claymation-style web series, designed for four- to eight-year-olds, is literally named "penis man," and it tells the "story of the man with the world’s longest penis who overcomes hardships and challenges with his record-breaking genitals."

Many Danes are understandably outraged, referencing both the #MeToo movement and the dangers of perpetuating the toxic idea that penises cannot be controlled. Others, however, including clinic psychologist Erla Heinesen Højsted believes that adults are overthinking it.

“The show depicts a man who is impulsive and not always in control, who makes mistakes – like kids do, but crucially, Dillermand always makes it right. He takes responsibility for his actions. When a woman in the show tells him that he should keep his penis in his pants, for instance, he listens. Which is nice. He is accountable.”

Apparently, making a show about a wayward vagina was also an option, but the Danish public service broadcaster believed that kids find penises funnier.

You have to see this to believe it -- and then you still won't. Check out the NSFW intro for John Dillermand below:

You can watch the full John Dillermand series, which had 20 episodes at press time, here. "Kids show" or not, this one is probably NSFW -- unless you work in Denmark.